I'm grateful for lessons learned.

I'm grateful to have learned this lesson sooner than later. For a long time I used to compare myself to my brothers and felt like I was disappointing my moms. My brothers all took the traditional route of going to college straight out of high school, and well I didn't and pretty much made every mistake in the book before I had my daughter. I remember sitting at my brothers college graduation beating myself up because I should have graduated college before any of my brothers did.

 I didn't realize I was making my moms proud by working hard and being the best mom I could be. I didn't realize I AM ENOUGH. I didn't realize that everything I went through was making me stronger and preparing me for the future.
 

It's very easy to get wrapped up in what others have and what we don't, or to think the grass is greener on the other side. I beg you, don't get wrapped up in those thoughts! They are toxic and won't attract anything good into your life. Instead #BeGrateful for all you have, where you've been, the lessons that have come out of storms, and the ones you love. When you focus on the good, it attracts more good.
 

Remember God created you to be YOU, not your neighbor or best friend. He has an AMAZING plan for all of us, and loves us more than we could ever imagine! Take a minute and thank him for that!
There is always ALWAYS something to #BeGrateful for!

 #Blessed #selflove #gratitude #BeYou #begreat #godlovesyou #bestisyettocome

Blended NOT broken.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how truly blessed I am to have three parents. Not only do I have three parents but I have three parents who have worked together my whole life to raise me.

Here's the best part; I don't EVER remember a time where one parent said something bad about the other or tried alienating me from the other. Now that I'm grown I truly understand what a blessing this was and still is. I know not many kids growing up in broken homes have both parents on the same team, putting their differences aside and doing what's in the best interest of the child. 

Whether or not my parents were battling behind my back I have no idea and I'm extremely grateful for that. I have enough rough childhood memories to look back on but this is one that I can look back on, smile and thank my parents. I know it couldn't have been easy. From the bottom of my heart I thank you three, thank you for leaving me out of it. Thank you for working together, thank you for all being a part of my life.

As far back as I can remember my family has just been one big family. It's not really dads family, Memas family, or Cemas Family. I'm not saying family get togethers are all three parts. But the events that are significant we all come together and celebrate it once, together as a family. First communion, confirmation, graduation, and kids party's. We celebebrate together as one family. We have blended three families into one. We are NOT broken, we are blended. 

A couple weeks ago I Was able to share the gift of Special Olympics with my parents and aunt. I felt so extremely blessed to be in my happy place and sharing it with my family. My heart was overflowing with happiness when they told me how much fun they had and would do it again. 

With Christmas coming up I've been starting to make our Christmas plans. We are so grateful my moms and brothers come to us so we don't have to travel. I'm so extremely excited for Christmas this year. On Christmas morning we will get to spend the magical morning with my dad, my moms, my aunt, brothers   And grandparents. This will be the first time ever we are all together on Christmas morning, and I seriously feel like a little kid on Christmas morning just thinking about it. I don't need presents, I will have the presence of my parents all together. 

Dad, Moms; I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul for loving me even when I was challenging, forgiving me, supporting me and standing by me. I want to thank you for being the best coparents you could ever be! I know it wasn't easy, I'm sure there were times you wanted to throw your hands up and give up. Thank you for never giving up on eachother and on me.  Please know your hard work and efforts have not gone unappreciated. Even as an adult your joint efforts are still extremely appreciated. I couldn't be more grateful for my three amazing parents! 

I Support Family Equality

I wrote this for a research assignment a couple years ago, I removed most of the out-of-date information, as some laws have changed! YAY! 

Same-sex couples have been fighting the equality rights battle for many years; some people think their right shouldn’t even be questioned because a persons’ sexuality doesn’t take away from the fact that we are all human and should all have the same human rights. But then there are those people whose religious beliefs are against homosexuality; the people who think raising a child in a same sex household can be harmful to children even though there is no data proving that, on the contrary, there is data proving that children raised in same sex households are just as well off as a child raised in a home with a mother and father.

A persons’ sexuality should not define a persons’ capability of being a parent, or what kind of home they can provide to children. There are so many children growing in foster care, and orphanages because not a lot of states have granted these same-sex couples the same protection and rights heterosexual couples receive. 

            Brad Clarke an advocate for lesbian and gay families argues, “Adoption should be about creating loving, stable homes for kids. It should be about making sure children have a nurturing environment that allows them to thrive and succeed” (Clark). Mr. Vale a loving gay father, and his partner adopted two children and this is what he has to say about parenthood, “My aspiration for them is, the sky is the limit, they can do anything they want. They were my dream, and my dream came true. I want them to grow up knowing theirs can too” (Cox). Another great advocate, Kenneth Faried, plays for the Denver Nuggets, has two moms and is an advocate for civil unions and marriage equality in Colorado, one mother whose family was lucky enough to spend some time with Faried said, “He was extremely kind and generous with his time with us. He is a great role model for kids with two moms” (Rudolph).  In 2013 Colorado’s’ civil union bill will no longer include exemption for child-placement agencies that are state funded (Clark). Which this is good because now no other children in Colorado will have to go through what Jaacob and his dads went through; one night Jaacob was struggling to breath, his dads rushed him to an urgent care facility and were held up at check in because the nurse couldn’t figure out how to enter them into the computer, and refused to give them medical attention until they could produce the mother’s information, because the computer only had a spot for mom and dad, not parent 1 and 2 (Clark). That innocent child could have died because of a technological error, something has to be done about this.

I believe same-sex couples should be allowed to adopt and create families without any discrimination and should be granted the same rights as heterosexual couples. 

There are a couple common arguments against same-sex couples having rights to families that are recognized and protected, but they aren’t all accurate; there are no proven statistics that children raised in same-sex families will be gay, but if they are they are less likely to hide or repress their sexual orientation (Lesbian & Gay Adoption Rights). Studies also show that children growing up in same-sex families fare just as well emotionally and socially as children that don’t (Belge).  The American Pediatrics Association now supports gay and lesbian couples adopting, which is just one of many big groups that do support equality, but there are also the groups against equality such as, the Manhattan Declaration which was established in 2009 and consists of more than 100 catholic, orthodox and evangelical leaders who filed an amicus brief with the Supreme Court reinforcing the Defense of Marriage Acts (DOMA) definition of marriage as a man and woman (Mauck). A big fear with DOMA being redefined is that over time millions of children will be placed in living conditions not based on their best interest but rather the new family structure (Mauck).

The U.S. is finally catching up to times and in 2011 the U.S Passport applications were updated to include room for parent 1 and 2. Kansas Supreme Court realizes that same-sex families do exist and the law cannot turn its back on a child’s need for stability and a protected relationship with both parents, so the Supreme Court ruled to protect the inters of all children regardless of their parents sexual orientation (Rudolph).

There shouldn’t even be a fight for same-sex couples because of ignorance and lack of understanding, change is difficult for some people, but change needs to happen. If same-sex couples are granted the same civil rights as other Americans and allowed to legally have families, thousands and thousands of children would be given loving homes and families.  I believe the only people that should have a say about same-sex couples right are the gays, lesbians, transgender and bisexuals because they are the ones effected by the laws. Why should it matter to heterosexuals that LGBT’s have the same rights as straight families? I don’t remember ever seeing in the constitution, “this only applies to straight families”. Those people who think same-sex families are dangerous and not safe, should consider the children growing up in straight families who are raped, beaten, and neglected? Those abusive and unfit parents didn’t have to fight to be able to have kids, yet they were blessed with an amazing gift of children that they can’t take care of, or choose not to do their best to take care of. Same-sex families can’t accidently have a baby, and I believe would most likely be able to provide better families and households than some straight families because having a family is their dream come true. Wouldn’t it be horrible if someone told you your dream couldn’t come true because you’re straight? Don’t take away someone else’s dream because it’s not your own.

"Grateful Gracie"

I just got back from reading to my daughters class, I wanted to share with them a story about gratitude and not just because its Thanksgiving time. The book is called "Grateful Gracie" and it's written by a friend of mine Jennifer Tissot, it's a story of little girl who teaches her brother about the amazing power of positive thoughts and gratitude.  Grateful Gracie- A Story About Gratitude

I wish I was I had this book growing up, I knew the idea of being thankful for what I had because there were other kids with less, but I didn't have a true grasp on gratitude and the power it holds. Luckly 26 years later I do know the power of gratitude and try to share it everywhere I go. I try really hard to sincerely say "Thank you" everywhere I go, keep my head up and smiling, and remember everyone is fighting battles that we don't know about. It's easy to be thankful around the holidays, but its so much more rewarding to be grateful all year long!

I now know the power that being grateful holds behind it, and I am so grateful I can share it with my kids.  I now know my life is full of blessings all around me. I used to place a lot of my happiness into materialistic things, having a nice house, car, clothes, vacations, spoiling my children with luxury gifts, and wanting to be able to buy what I wanted when I wanted it. THANK YOU GOD FOR HELPING ME OPEN MY EYES!

It was when I was at the very bottom of the deep, dark, black hole of my depression, I had nothing to hold on to anymore, so I grabbed onto gratitude, put my faith in it, and gave it a try. THANK YOU GOD FOR A SECOND CHANCE! I started doing gratitude rituals at night, in the morning, when I was upset, when I was driving, whenever a negative thought came to mind. It didn't take long before I realized I wasn't having many negative thoughts anymore, and everything I was thinking about was how blessed I am, and all the good things I do have around me and in my life. THANK YOU NATALY AND HAPPIER TEAM!

I'm not going to say I don't get any mean and negative thoughts, but I choose not to respond to them, I choose not to give them any attention, I choose not to listen to the self blame, self doubt, and self hate. Instead I encourage myself, love myself, and forgive myself. If I am not going to, why should anyone else? If I can't love myself and how freaking awesome I really am, how can anyone else?  I am worthy of love, forgiveness and respect! SO ARE YOU!

Due to all the self hate I had going on I let it affect my marriage, I made very poor choices, and wasn't thinking about all the blessings I do have, instead I was focusing on all I didn't. I was looking at the grass being greener on the other side. Because of my bad choices, it resulted in more bad things happening in my life. I thought 100% my marriage was over. My husband and I dug really deep, had the conversations nobody wants to have, and put it all out on the table. We knew what we needed to do, we knew what we wanted to do, we knew we were meant to be, and that we could get through this. We are a work in progress, and so far so good! I believe the hell and back we went through was to help us open our eyes to how amazing our lives really are, and the blessings that God has poured over us. He gave us a second chance, and he helped us stay strong to protect our children from what was going on, while we got our acts together. I am so grateful for that!

I love that you can feel the gratitude in my house now, my husband, my kids, and myself try really hard to keep it grateful!

Be Grateful.

Trick or Treat...

Halloween is such a fun time of the year! Yes, it can be expensive and chaotic but our children love it! It's the one time of the year it's ok to be anybody besides yourself! 

For my family it was an oppertunity to spend time together, make memories, have fun and face some fears! 

Last year was kind of a bust, my husband and I had been a month into hell, he was out of town working, my son was miserable from teething and wanted nothing to do with his costume, and thankfully my sister in law picked up my daughter to go trick or treating with them.  So this year I was determined to have a fun family Halloween! 

We all dressed up, I was grateful my husband broke out of his shell and dressed up a little, the kids loved it and so did I! My dad was even in costume too! 

We went to my in-laws where all my nieces and nephews were. Somehow we got split up into two groups, but we still had fun! 

I am so proud of my little Spider-Man, he was so brave and independent! He said "tic-treat" and  "tank-youu" to everyone! He was a good listener and walked the whole time! 

My little Clawdeen Wolf faced some fears last night, she does not like spooky decorations or dogs. With the help of her cousins encouraging words and support she made it past the spooky decorations and went to houses with dogs! I'm so proud of her! 

All in all in was a great night and I'm beyond grateful to have spent it with family! And we found out we have another niece or nephew on the way!! Exciting stuff!! 

Be Grateful.

I'm grateful for my sister in laws...

I truly am blessed to have amazing sister in laws. We are all beautiful and amazing in our ways, we are similar yet very different. 

My husband and I both come from blended families, we know it's not easy to mix two families together and say hey we are a family now. 

I've always noticed this divide in our families, both sides. My families gap has closed a lot over the recent years, and now I'm determined to mend the gap on the other side. 

My kids have 7 cousins they could be a whole heck of a lot closer too. I remember growing up my cousins were my best friends, yes we fought but we were always family and family is so important! 

With some help from my sisters we have two family get togethers in the works with  all of the kids and grand kids. I'm so excited! 

 I'm grateful for my sister in law who never left my side during the roughest year of my life. She gave me hope, inspiration and love. She's inspired me in ways she will never know, and I'm so proud of her for her own journey and accomplishments. We have very similar purposes, thought processes, and beliefs, yet we are still very different in our ways. 

I'm grateful for all of my family members, it's just today I'm extra greatful for my sisters! 

Be Grateful.