Dear Transgender Community

I will be 100% honest, I haven’t written anything about HB2 or the struggles the LGBTQ community has been facing recently, because I couldn’t do it with love. I was filled with rage at the blatant discrimination and hate being directed towards them. I would see ridiculous comments on social media, I would type my reply, but I couldn’t send it. I couldn’t go against who I am and who I try to be, in attempt to get through to someone else. Over the past couple years, I have been making a conscious effort to truly do all things with love. I don’t want to put anything other than love out into the Universe… This morning I found out an evangelist had gone to our local target screaming through the store and was then at a school screaming at children…I’ve had enough… Here it goes… 

Dear Evangelists,

I know this is hard for you.

I know it’s hard to accept something you don’t understand.

I know it’s hard to love someone with different beliefs.

I know you love your God with all your heart and soul.

I know in your mind, you think you’re doing God’s work.  

I know God doesn’t make mistakes.

But I also know…

I know that I’ve been molested and raped by the “devil” and he wasn’t transgender.

I know that I’m not scared of going to hell, I’ve lived in hell on earth.

I know that Jesus didn’t walk around screaming, trying to scare people into believing.  

I know that we are all God’s children and he wants us to love each other.

I know that social norms and gender norms have made this harder to understand.

I know that God loves my gay moms, he blessed us with such an amazing family.

I know that when I was younger and you were preaching your hate against gays, it severed my relationship with God.

I know that words have an extremely powerful effect, and should be used to speak love and life.

I know that I could live in fear, but I choose love.

I want you to know I have love and compassion for you regardless of our differences. I wish you well and pray that you will one day experience the true meaning of unconditional love.

Love and light,

Child of God

Dear Transgender Community,

I want you to know that I’m not scared of you or peeing next to you.

I want you to know you deserve to be your true authentic self.

I want you to know that love and compassion truly do exist.

I want you to know how beautiful you are, inside and out.

I want you to know I admire your courage and strength.

I want you to know that you are loved and not alone.

I want you to know how amazing you truly are.

I want you to know I stand with you.

I want you to know you matter.

I want you to know I love you.

Love and light,

Straight Ally

Blended NOT broken.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how truly blessed I am to have three parents. Not only do I have three parents but I have three parents who have worked together my whole life to raise me.

Here's the best part; I don't EVER remember a time where one parent said something bad about the other or tried alienating me from the other. Now that I'm grown I truly understand what a blessing this was and still is. I know not many kids growing up in broken homes have both parents on the same team, putting their differences aside and doing what's in the best interest of the child. 

Whether or not my parents were battling behind my back I have no idea and I'm extremely grateful for that. I have enough rough childhood memories to look back on but this is one that I can look back on, smile and thank my parents. I know it couldn't have been easy. From the bottom of my heart I thank you three, thank you for leaving me out of it. Thank you for working together, thank you for all being a part of my life.

As far back as I can remember my family has just been one big family. It's not really dads family, Memas family, or Cemas Family. I'm not saying family get togethers are all three parts. But the events that are significant we all come together and celebrate it once, together as a family. First communion, confirmation, graduation, and kids party's. We celebebrate together as one family. We have blended three families into one. We are NOT broken, we are blended. 

A couple weeks ago I Was able to share the gift of Special Olympics with my parents and aunt. I felt so extremely blessed to be in my happy place and sharing it with my family. My heart was overflowing with happiness when they told me how much fun they had and would do it again. 

With Christmas coming up I've been starting to make our Christmas plans. We are so grateful my moms and brothers come to us so we don't have to travel. I'm so extremely excited for Christmas this year. On Christmas morning we will get to spend the magical morning with my dad, my moms, my aunt, brothers   And grandparents. This will be the first time ever we are all together on Christmas morning, and I seriously feel like a little kid on Christmas morning just thinking about it. I don't need presents, I will have the presence of my parents all together. 

Dad, Moms; I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul for loving me even when I was challenging, forgiving me, supporting me and standing by me. I want to thank you for being the best coparents you could ever be! I know it wasn't easy, I'm sure there were times you wanted to throw your hands up and give up. Thank you for never giving up on eachother and on me.  Please know your hard work and efforts have not gone unappreciated. Even as an adult your joint efforts are still extremely appreciated. I couldn't be more grateful for my three amazing parents! 

I Support Family Equality

I wrote this for a research assignment a couple years ago, I removed most of the out-of-date information, as some laws have changed! YAY! 

Same-sex couples have been fighting the equality rights battle for many years; some people think their right shouldn’t even be questioned because a persons’ sexuality doesn’t take away from the fact that we are all human and should all have the same human rights. But then there are those people whose religious beliefs are against homosexuality; the people who think raising a child in a same sex household can be harmful to children even though there is no data proving that, on the contrary, there is data proving that children raised in same sex households are just as well off as a child raised in a home with a mother and father.

A persons’ sexuality should not define a persons’ capability of being a parent, or what kind of home they can provide to children. There are so many children growing in foster care, and orphanages because not a lot of states have granted these same-sex couples the same protection and rights heterosexual couples receive. 

            Brad Clarke an advocate for lesbian and gay families argues, “Adoption should be about creating loving, stable homes for kids. It should be about making sure children have a nurturing environment that allows them to thrive and succeed” (Clark). Mr. Vale a loving gay father, and his partner adopted two children and this is what he has to say about parenthood, “My aspiration for them is, the sky is the limit, they can do anything they want. They were my dream, and my dream came true. I want them to grow up knowing theirs can too” (Cox). Another great advocate, Kenneth Faried, plays for the Denver Nuggets, has two moms and is an advocate for civil unions and marriage equality in Colorado, one mother whose family was lucky enough to spend some time with Faried said, “He was extremely kind and generous with his time with us. He is a great role model for kids with two moms” (Rudolph).  In 2013 Colorado’s’ civil union bill will no longer include exemption for child-placement agencies that are state funded (Clark). Which this is good because now no other children in Colorado will have to go through what Jaacob and his dads went through; one night Jaacob was struggling to breath, his dads rushed him to an urgent care facility and were held up at check in because the nurse couldn’t figure out how to enter them into the computer, and refused to give them medical attention until they could produce the mother’s information, because the computer only had a spot for mom and dad, not parent 1 and 2 (Clark). That innocent child could have died because of a technological error, something has to be done about this.

I believe same-sex couples should be allowed to adopt and create families without any discrimination and should be granted the same rights as heterosexual couples. 

There are a couple common arguments against same-sex couples having rights to families that are recognized and protected, but they aren’t all accurate; there are no proven statistics that children raised in same-sex families will be gay, but if they are they are less likely to hide or repress their sexual orientation (Lesbian & Gay Adoption Rights). Studies also show that children growing up in same-sex families fare just as well emotionally and socially as children that don’t (Belge).  The American Pediatrics Association now supports gay and lesbian couples adopting, which is just one of many big groups that do support equality, but there are also the groups against equality such as, the Manhattan Declaration which was established in 2009 and consists of more than 100 catholic, orthodox and evangelical leaders who filed an amicus brief with the Supreme Court reinforcing the Defense of Marriage Acts (DOMA) definition of marriage as a man and woman (Mauck). A big fear with DOMA being redefined is that over time millions of children will be placed in living conditions not based on their best interest but rather the new family structure (Mauck).

The U.S. is finally catching up to times and in 2011 the U.S Passport applications were updated to include room for parent 1 and 2. Kansas Supreme Court realizes that same-sex families do exist and the law cannot turn its back on a child’s need for stability and a protected relationship with both parents, so the Supreme Court ruled to protect the inters of all children regardless of their parents sexual orientation (Rudolph).

There shouldn’t even be a fight for same-sex couples because of ignorance and lack of understanding, change is difficult for some people, but change needs to happen. If same-sex couples are granted the same civil rights as other Americans and allowed to legally have families, thousands and thousands of children would be given loving homes and families.  I believe the only people that should have a say about same-sex couples right are the gays, lesbians, transgender and bisexuals because they are the ones effected by the laws. Why should it matter to heterosexuals that LGBT’s have the same rights as straight families? I don’t remember ever seeing in the constitution, “this only applies to straight families”. Those people who think same-sex families are dangerous and not safe, should consider the children growing up in straight families who are raped, beaten, and neglected? Those abusive and unfit parents didn’t have to fight to be able to have kids, yet they were blessed with an amazing gift of children that they can’t take care of, or choose not to do their best to take care of. Same-sex families can’t accidently have a baby, and I believe would most likely be able to provide better families and households than some straight families because having a family is their dream come true. Wouldn’t it be horrible if someone told you your dream couldn’t come true because you’re straight? Don’t take away someone else’s dream because it’s not your own.

I Believe He Loves Us All

For those of you who don't know me, I am a follower of Christ, mother and wife, and daughter of a lesbian.

God has been laying a lot on my heart lately, and I want to share it. I know it's opening myself up for criticism, but I will not hide behind that fear anymore, I know God created me, likes me, loves me, and has a plan for me greater than I could ever imagine.

I grew up in the Catholic school with divorced parents and a gay mom, and yes I punished for that, I was made to feel like a complete outcast, and made to feel like my family wasn't legitimate. There were parents who didn't want their kids near my mom in fear she would turn them gay? Or the gay would rub off? 

Because of all the people who preached hate about my family, about my mom, I lost faith in God. I don't remember in the bible where Jesus says, "hate thy neighbor and make them feel illegitimate at all costs." I wondered why me? Why couldn't I have a normal family?

Now by no means did I have a perfect childhood and an amazing relationship with my mom. I placed a lot of anger and resentment on her, for being who she IS, who God created her to be. However my husband grew up and experienced an absent mother, she wasn't LGBT, she is straight and grew up in a religious family. My point being I didn't have a rough childhood because my mom is gay, there's so many children who grow up with straight parents and are verbally, mentally and physically abused. It was because while everyone was preaching their hate, no one was thinking about the effects it has on the children of LGBT families. No one was thinking about how hard it must be for a 7 year old to hear her family isn't really a family, or that my mother was going to hell. That's a terrifying thought for a child! 

I thank God for never giving up on me, even when I gave up on him. I have a stronger, deeper relationship with him now than I ever knew existed. 

Being gay is a choice. I disagree, I know and love enough LGBT individuals to know it is not a choice. Why would people choose to be something that's discriminated against? Why would people choose to be something they have to fight so hard to be? Ya know what is a choice? Loving and accepting our neighbors the way they are. Speaking with love, hope and compassion. 

I know this may be a hard concept for some people to understand, but remember God created ALL of us, he LOVES ALL of us, and God has bigger plans for ALL us than we could ever imagine. 

I believe in committed same-sex marriages and believe God loves my family just as much as the family next door. I also believe if a commited same-sex couple wants to start a family, and a adopt a child, who am I to stop them? 

Who are we as society to stop people from living the life God has blessed them with? I certainly don't want to be standing in front of my almighty father explaining why I didn't love ALL my neighbors. 

My prayer is that people will remember the children of LGBT families when preaching hate, and know how much your words really do hurt.  (Heck I'm 26 and somethings I read still sting, luckily I've come a really long way in not living in offense.) Please remember God calls us to love thy neighbor. It is not our place to judge one another, it is our place to share Gods love for all of us, his greatness, and his promises. He is able, faithful and will not forsake you.

I fully understand this will not sit well with everyone, and I'm not asking you all to become same-sex marriage advocates (more power to you if you do), but what I am asking is to remember the children who are stuck in the middle of this awful battle, and that all the mean, nasty, awful hate preached is extremely hurtful and scaring for children. I respect everyone is entitled to their own opinon, but please don't hurt others trying to get your opinon across.

Be Kind. Be Grateful.