Thursday, April 9, 2015

I Support Family Equality

I wrote this for a research assignment a couple years ago, I removed most of the out-of-date information, as some laws have changed! YAY! 



Same-sex couples have been fighting the equality rights battle for many years; some people think their right shouldn’t even be questioned because a persons’ sexuality doesn’t take away from the fact that we are all human and should all have the same human rights. But then there are those people whose religious beliefs are against homosexuality; the people who think raising a child in a same sex household can be harmful to children even though there is no data proving that, on the contrary, there is data proving that children raised in same sex households are just as well off as a child raised in a home with a mother and father.
A persons’ sexuality should not define a persons’ capability of being a parent, or what kind of home they can provide to children. There are so many children growing in foster care, and orphanages because not a lot of states have granted these same-sex couples the same protection and rights heterosexual couples receive. 
            Brad Clarke an advocate for lesbian and gay families argues, “Adoption should be about creating loving, stable homes for kids. It should be about making sure children have a nurturing environment that allows them to thrive and succeed” (Clark). Mr. Vale a loving gay father, and his partner adopted two children and this is what he has to say about parenthood, “My aspiration for them is, the sky is the limit, they can do anything they want. They were my dream, and my dream came true. I want them to grow up knowing theirs can too” (Cox). Another great advocate, Kenneth Faried, plays for the Denver Nuggets, has two moms and is an advocate for civil unions and marriage equality in Colorado, one mother whose family was lucky enough to spend some time with Faried said, “He was extremely kind and generous with his time with us. He is a great role model for kids with two moms” (Rudolph).  In 2013 Colorado’s’ civil union bill will no longer include exemption for child-placement agencies that are state funded (Clark). Which this is good because now no other children in Colorado will have to go through what Jaacob and his dads went through; one night Jaacob was struggling to breath, his dads rushed him to an urgent care facility and were held up at check in because the nurse couldn’t figure out how to enter them into the computer, and refused to give them medical attention until they could produce the mother’s information, because the computer only had a spot for mom and dad, not parent 1 and 2 (Clark). That innocent child could have died because of a technological error, something has to be done about this.
I believe same-sex couples should be allowed to adopt and create families without any discrimination and should be granted the same rights as heterosexual couples. 
There are a couple common arguments against same-sex couples having rights to families that are recognized and protected, but they aren’t all accurate; there are no proven statistics that children raised in same-sex families will be gay, but if they are they are less likely to hide or repress their sexual orientation (Lesbian & Gay Adoption Rights). Studies also show that children growing up in same-sex families fare just as well emotionally and socially as children that don’t (Belge).  The American Pediatrics Association now supports gay and lesbian couples adopting, which is just one of many big groups that do support equality, but there are also the groups against equality such as, the Manhattan Declaration which was established in 2009 and consists of more than 100 catholic, orthodox and evangelical leaders who filed an amicus brief with the Supreme Court reinforcing the Defense of Marriage Acts (DOMA) definition of marriage as a man and woman (Mauck). A big fear with DOMA being redefined is that over time millions of children will be placed in living conditions not based on their best interest but rather the new family structure (Mauck).
The U.S. is finally catching up to times and in 2011 the U.S Passport applications were updated to include room for parent 1 and 2. Kansas Supreme Court realizes that same-sex families do exist and the law cannot turn its back on a child’s need for stability and a protected relationship with both parents, so the Supreme Court ruled to protect the inters of all children regardless of their parents sexual orientation (Rudolph).
There shouldn’t even be a fight for same-sex couples because of ignorance and lack of understanding, change is difficult for some people, but change needs to happen. If same-sex couples are granted the same civil rights as other Americans and allowed to legally have families, thousands and thousands of children would be given loving homes and families.  I believe the only people that should have a say about same-sex couples right are the gays, lesbians, transgender and bisexuals because they are the ones effected by the laws. Why should it matter to heterosexuals that LGBT’s have the same rights as straight families? I don’t remember ever seeing in the constitution, “this only applies to straight families”. Those people who think same-sex families are dangerous and not safe, should consider the children growing up in straight families who are raped, beaten, and neglected? Those abusive and unfit parents didn’t have to fight to be able to have kids, yet they were blessed with an amazing gift of children that they can’t take care of, or choose not to do their best to take care of. Same-sex families can’t accidently have a baby, and I believe would most likely be able to provide better families and households than some straight families because having a family is their dream come true. Wouldn’t it be horrible if someone told you your dream couldn’t come true because you’re straight? Don’t take away someone else’s dream because it’s not your own.

Monday, April 6, 2015

I Believe He Loves Us All

For those of you who don't know me, I am a follower of Christ, mother and wife, and daughter of a lesbian.

God has been laying a lot on my heart lately, and I want to share it. I know it's opening myself up for criticism, but I will not hide behind that fear anymore, I know God created me, likes me, loves me, and has a plan for me greater than I could ever imagine.

I grew up in the Catholic school with divorced parents and a gay mom, and yes I punished for that, I was made to feel like a complete outcast, and made to feel like my family wasn't legitimate. There were parents who didn't want their kids near my mom in fear she would turn them gay? Or the gay would rub off? 
Because of all the people who preached hate about my family, about my mom, I lost faith in God. I don't remember in the bible where Jesus says, "hate thy neighbor and make them feel illegitimate at all costs." I wondered why me? Why couldn't I have a normal family?

Now by no means did I have a perfect childhood and an amazing relationship with my mom. I placed a lot of anger and resentment on her, for being who she IS, who God created her to be. However my husband grew up and experienced an absent mother, she wasn't LGBT, she is straight and grew up in a religious family. My point being I didn't have a rough childhood because my mom is gay, there's so many children who grow up with straight parents and are verbally, mentally and physically abused. It was because while everyone was preaching their hate, no one was thinking about the effects it has on the children of LGBT families. No one was thinking about how hard it must be for a 7 year old to hear her family isn't really a family, or that my mother was going to hell. That's a terrifying thought for a child! 

I thank God for never giving up on me, even when I gave up on him. I have a stronger, deeper relationship with him now than I ever knew existed. 

Being gay is a choice. I disagree, I know and love enough LGBT individuals to know it is not a choice. Why would people choose to be something that's discriminated against? Why would people choose to be something they have to fight so hard to be? Ya know what is a choice? Loving and accepting our neighbors the way they are. Speaking with love, hope and compassion. 

I know this may be a hard concept for some people to understand, but remember God created ALL of us, he LOVES ALL of us, and God has bigger plans for ALL us than we could ever imagine. 

I believe in committed same-sex marriages and believe God loves my family just as much as the family next door. I also believe if a commited same-sex couple wants to start a family, and a adopt a child, who am I to stop them? 
Who are we as society to stop people from living the life God has blessed them with? I certainly don't want to be standing in front of my almighty father explaining why I didn't love ALL my neighbors. 

My prayer is that people will remember the children of LGBT families when preaching hate, and know how much your words really do hurt.  (Heck I'm 26 and somethings I read still sting, luckily I've come a really long way in not living in offense.) Please remember God calls us to love thy neighbor. It is not our place to judge one another, it is our place to share Gods love for all of us, his greatness, and his promises. He is able, faithful and will not forsake you.

I fully understand this will not sit well with everyone, and I'm not asking you all to become same-sex marriage advocates (more power to you if you do), but what I am asking is to remember the children who are stuck in the middle of this awful battle, and that all the mean, nasty, awful hate preached is extremely hurtful and scaring for children. I respect everyone is entitled to their own opinon, but please don't hurt others trying to get your opinon across.

Be Kind. Be Grateful.