It finally hit me!!

     It was when I stopped trying to figure out what premade mold I was suppose to fit into, that I realized I could create my own. This is the most valuable lesson I have ever taught myself. From the time we were five years old, grownups were asking, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” And our most common responses were, “A police man, a teacher, a doctor, a fireman, or a veterinarian.” Which is because at five years old that’s all we know, now by no means am I saying these jobs aren’t necessary and extremely valuable to the world we live in, but they are not the ONLY important jobs in the world. As a society we shouldn’t be trying to make young children figure out what their exact place is in the world, or what mold/stereotype they fit into. Instead we should be encouraging them to find their own unique self, their own special talents, dreams, hopes, desires and most importantly to love themselves just the way they are. This may be a hard thing for you to do if you don’t truly love and appreciate your own authentic self, which is key to true happiness.

      My life has been far from easy or perfect, from a very young age I was feeling emotions, in which I didn’t even know existed, let alone how to express them. Throughout my blog I will tell all my stories, in hopes to at least inspire one person to believe in themselves, and the power of gratitude, kindness, and compassion. I will not use my past as an excuse for the other dark paths I walked on, or not so happy journeys, instead I will show you how I looked into my past to help understand why I was making the choices I did. I do not regret my past one bit, I have embraced my past and grown from up. If it weren’t for my journey I wouldn’t be the strong person I am today. I went from crying over the smallest thing, to tackling obstacles head on! Looking back on my 5 year old self, or my 15 year old self, heck even my 24 year old self, I never would have imagined I could possibly be as happy and at peace that I am today. When my life was shattering around me, my mom tried teaching me about the powers of positive thinking and gratitude. Honestly I thought she was full it! I couldn’t or didn’t want to grasp onto the idea, it seemed like too much “work”. So I continued being miserable and depressed and my life kept going on without me. My husband and I ended up separating and it was then I realized I lost myself. I didn’t know how to be anything but a mother and a wife anymore. I didn’t know what I was good at, or what made me happy. I wondered if I had truly ever known myself, for as far back as I can remember I never really knew those answers. I knew this was my chance to figure it all out, I wasn’t quite sure how, but I knew something had to change. I discovered the Happier App (Online gratitude journal), I participated in a gratitude course they have, I listened to my mom and accepted what she was telling me. I learned the power of forgiveness for yourself and others. I kicked the negative voices out of my head, and told them not to come back! Yes they are stubborn and do reappear but I automatically shut them down and switch to something happy, no matter how random or silly it may be.
     It only took me a couple weeks to see that the shift in my thoughts had resulted to shifts in my behaviors and my world around me. I’ve come a long way from the lost soul I used to be. My husband and I have a strong, deeper relationship than we ever had, a newfound appreciation and respect for the other. We now truly have a happy home with our beautiful children. Who would have thought that year through hell, would have been one of the best things to happen to us? I guess everything really does happen for a reason, even if it seems impossible to see.
     I was driving home the day after my other moms surprise birthday party and a night with my best friend, it was a beautiful sunny day, blue skies and colorful leaves everywhere. I was rocking out to my Grateful cd, and out of nowhere my purpose shined through. It finally hit me!! Instantly my heart and soul were filling up with possibilities. I was so overwhelmed with joy and excitement! I had never felt so creative before! In one way, shape or form I am going to spread the power of gratitude, kindness, and compassion, and inspire at least one person to find the courage to make a change. I look forward to sharing my life with you, both past and present. Be Grateful.