I Believe He Loves Us All

For those of you who don't know me, I am a follower of Christ, mother and wife, and daughter of a lesbian.

God has been laying a lot on my heart lately, and I want to share it. I know it's opening myself up for criticism, but I will not hide behind that fear anymore, I know God created me, likes me, loves me, and has a plan for me greater than I could ever imagine.

I grew up in the Catholic school with divorced parents and a gay mom, and yes I punished for that, I was made to feel like a complete outcast, and made to feel like my family wasn't legitimate. There were parents who didn't want their kids near my mom in fear she would turn them gay? Or the gay would rub off? 

Because of all the people who preached hate about my family, about my mom, I lost faith in God. I don't remember in the bible where Jesus says, "hate thy neighbor and make them feel illegitimate at all costs." I wondered why me? Why couldn't I have a normal family?

Now by no means did I have a perfect childhood and an amazing relationship with my mom. I placed a lot of anger and resentment on her, for being who she IS, who God created her to be. However my husband grew up and experienced an absent mother, she wasn't LGBT, she is straight and grew up in a religious family. My point being I didn't have a rough childhood because my mom is gay, there's so many children who grow up with straight parents and are verbally, mentally and physically abused. It was because while everyone was preaching their hate, no one was thinking about the effects it has on the children of LGBT families. No one was thinking about how hard it must be for a 7 year old to hear her family isn't really a family, or that my mother was going to hell. That's a terrifying thought for a child! 

I thank God for never giving up on me, even when I gave up on him. I have a stronger, deeper relationship with him now than I ever knew existed. 

Being gay is a choice. I disagree, I know and love enough LGBT individuals to know it is not a choice. Why would people choose to be something that's discriminated against? Why would people choose to be something they have to fight so hard to be? Ya know what is a choice? Loving and accepting our neighbors the way they are. Speaking with love, hope and compassion. 

I know this may be a hard concept for some people to understand, but remember God created ALL of us, he LOVES ALL of us, and God has bigger plans for ALL us than we could ever imagine. 

I believe in committed same-sex marriages and believe God loves my family just as much as the family next door. I also believe if a commited same-sex couple wants to start a family, and a adopt a child, who am I to stop them? 

Who are we as society to stop people from living the life God has blessed them with? I certainly don't want to be standing in front of my almighty father explaining why I didn't love ALL my neighbors. 

My prayer is that people will remember the children of LGBT families when preaching hate, and know how much your words really do hurt.  (Heck I'm 26 and somethings I read still sting, luckily I've come a really long way in not living in offense.) Please remember God calls us to love thy neighbor. It is not our place to judge one another, it is our place to share Gods love for all of us, his greatness, and his promises. He is able, faithful and will not forsake you.

I fully understand this will not sit well with everyone, and I'm not asking you all to become same-sex marriage advocates (more power to you if you do), but what I am asking is to remember the children who are stuck in the middle of this awful battle, and that all the mean, nasty, awful hate preached is extremely hurtful and scaring for children. I respect everyone is entitled to their own opinon, but please don't hurt others trying to get your opinon across.

Be Kind. Be Grateful. 

How I Shut up the negative voices...

I used to lay in bed at night and stress about everything and anything, especially things I had no control over; A big snow storm, money, all the things I meant to do that day, how horrible would the tourists be at work the next day, holding onto negative comments from other people, or problems in other peoples life's that I couldn't do anything about, except be there for moral support. These voices never stopped all day long, I honestly thought something was wrong with me. Why am I judging everyone? Why are such mean thoughts crossing my mind? Why do I care so much what other people think of me? One day when I was upset and on the phone with my moms looking for support they told me what other people think of you is there problem, not yours. It took me a little while to process and understand that thinking but finally I did. If they want to judge me that is their own problem. 

     It wasn't nearly as hard to shut up the voices as I thought it would be. It only took a couple weeks of consciously kicking them out to where my subconscious was doing it for me. Yes sometimes they come back and I just say, " leave you are not welcome here!" And then i start thinking random happy thoughts, or listing off things I'm grateful for and I'm good! 

     My moms were always talking about affirmations and some of the ones they would show me or that I would find on my own I didn't really understand, I think it was the wording that set me back a little. My mom told me I could make my own affirmations, my own unique positive sayings to repeat to myself, to help me in any situations. Think about it, who knows you better than you? Who knows what you need to hear more than you? I do use bits and pieces of others affirmations to build my own.

      One morning before the kids got up I had text my mom saying I need an affirmation I can't come up with one. Given what was going on she knew exactly what I needed to hear, she sent me, "my religon is simple, my religon is kindess" inspirational words of the Daili Lama. I added patience onto the end to personalize it more. Another one of my favorites for when I'm feeling overwhelmed is, " I am me, I am here, I am enough, I got this!" I do believe affirmations are powerful ways to channel your thoughts and energy and send them into the universe for your higher power to find. I always get a very happy feeling when I send something to the universe and see it makes it's way back within days. You might be thinking I'm fruity loopy but that's ok! For example the other day when I was clearing my thoughts I said to myself "I wish dean would do this more, but he does work really hard, and I don't mind doing this it would just be nice if he did every once In awhile." And yes I probably should have expressed my feelings to him but I didn't feel like it needed anymore energy on such a silly thing. Well wouldn't you know two days later, he was doing what I hoped he would. He apologized for not doing it more often, and told me how grateful he is that I do it all the time! He made my heart so happy, and I did tell him the thoughts I had, but didn't say anything because I'm grateful for all that he does for us. Point of my story is, I believe the universe and higher power hear my thoughts and prayers and help in anyway they can, because they know I will always pay it forward. I am proud to say that 98% of the time my voices are grateful, positive, and supportive, and that truly makes me happy! 

Be Grateful.