It was just recently that I realized I had been legit depressed my entire life, as far back as I can remember. That doesn't mean I didn't have any happy moments throughout my life, but the place I would go shortly after it was all over. It was kinda like being in a really deep whole, and peeping my head out for some fresh air every now and again, but I always went back down. Even with the births of my children, the most precious gifts from God, there was still a part of me that was depressed. My children fill me with so much love, gratitude, compassion and selflessness, they hands down saved my life. But there was still part of me that was miserable with myself, with my past, my lack of accomplishments, my lack of wealth and a ungrateful heart and mind.
Thank you God for giving me so many second chances!
When my world was falling apart all around me, it made it easy to see all the little things that I ever took for granted. It really helped change my perspective on being grateful for EVERYTHING I have and am! I realized how strong I truly was, I realized how much pain and suffering I was protecting my children from while my husband and I got out shit together.
Once I was able to be aware of all the self doubt and negative talk I was doing to myself, I focused a lot of energy on kickin them out! It took a couple months but HOLY MOLY was it worth it!! 90% of the time my mind is only thinking grateful, positive and kind thoughts, it just does it on it's own now! And when any negative thoughts start going I shut them down and stick up for myself.
In my head I am always supporting, encouraging, and being kind to myself, I DESERVE it!! I don't need to be mean to myself, or beat myself up about what I didn't get done, I just think tomorrow is another day! I did the best I could do today! I find when I start my day with a positive attitude, readjust to any speed bumps throughout the day, and try my best, there's no reason to be upset with myself, and if there is, I just forgive myself!
I know it's nice to have the approval of everyone around you, and you want everyone to support you in what you do, but realistically it's not gonna happen. There will always be one downer, it never fails, but you can't live your life and make decisions based on others opinons and remarks. I know I have God and my Gaurdian Angels always on my side, and they will help me and protect me, and have a plan for me. I know if something doesn't work out, that's ok, it wasn't meant to be!
Be Grateful.
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