Cultivating Gratitude Saved My Life

The best decision I ever made for MYSELF was the decision to start cultivating gratitude. I was at rock bottom and ready to give up. I felt absolutely defeated. I hated myself. Thankfully my mom wasn't ready to throw in the towel, as much as I didn't want to hear it in the moment, she would call me out on everything I was complaining about and helped me see it from another perspective. ( THANKS MOM!!)  It wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be! It's been almost 4 years and I couldn't be more grateful for gratitude and all the ways it's changed my life, helped me changed my entire way of thinking and the way I view the world.                                                                      

I used to be: depressed, anxious, constantly crying, finding the worst in every situation, miserable, constantly complaining, hateful, spiteful, spoke to myself and others in awful ways, always thought the grass was greener on the other side, and said FML at least 100 times a day. 

NOW: I am able to see the good in anything, I'm happy with the grass on my side, I no longer battle with depression and anxiety, I jump out of bed in the morning, rarely ever complain (and when I do, I call myself out), I've discovered self love and care, I attract more positivity and blessings, I forgive, I have more love and compassion in my heart than I ever thought possible, but most of all, I AM HAPPY even when it feels like my world is falling apart around me, I know I still have so much to be grateful for and that this storm will pass, just like the rest of them have. The sun will always shine again ☀️

💗Remember happiness is an inside job, NO ONE can do it for you 😀 

Want to start cultivating gratitude, but don't know where to start? 

🔹🔹THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO KNOW ABOUT GRATITUDE IS... There is NOTHING to small, silly or stupid to be grateful for. Any ounce of gratitude is better than no gratitude at all!! 🔹🔹

🔹Starting something new whatever it may be takes dedication and consistency. I  highly suggest creating a practice or ritual that you can do at the same time everyday, and then some. (I ride the gratitude train all day long, especially during stressful and tragic moments). Before you get out of bed, with every sip you take of your morning coffee or tea, with every bite you take, while you're brushing your teeth, driving to work or laying in bed at night, mentally list off at least 5 things you are grateful for. 

🔹Gratitude journal, write down 5 things everyday (preferably in the morning and before bed) its a great way to start and end the day with a positive vibe and a good way to let go of any stress and anxiety. 

🔹My good friend Michael Ian Cedar @thelegacyofyou does a Daily Global Gratitude Slam every Monday-Friday at 7:35am EST on periscope. We have a pretty kick ass community filled with gratitude, love, diversity, creativity and inspiration. 

🔹The app Happier, this was what I used as a gratitude journal. You can have a private or public profile, the happier family is truly amazing and oh so supportive. It really helps to surround yourself with like minded people. Also, by reading other people's happy moments and things they are grateful for, it can help inspire other things to be grateful for that you may have been taking for granted. 

🔹Gratitude Jar / Board, whichever you prefer. Write down something you are grateful for and put it in/on. Visual reminders are incredibly helpful! 

However you decide to start cultivating gratitude I want you to know a couple things: 

-I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!! 

-YOU WON'T REGRET IT!! 

-DON'T GIVE UP!! 

-YOU CAN DO IT, I BELIEVE IN YOU!! 

If you already have a gratitude practice or ritual I would love to hear about in the comments below! 

I'm grateful for lessons learned.

I'm grateful to have learned this lesson sooner than later. For a long time I used to compare myself to my brothers and felt like I was disappointing my moms. My brothers all took the traditional route of going to college straight out of high school, and well I didn't and pretty much made every mistake in the book before I had my daughter. I remember sitting at my brothers college graduation beating myself up because I should have graduated college before any of my brothers did.

 I didn't realize I was making my moms proud by working hard and being the best mom I could be. I didn't realize I AM ENOUGH. I didn't realize that everything I went through was making me stronger and preparing me for the future.
 

It's very easy to get wrapped up in what others have and what we don't, or to think the grass is greener on the other side. I beg you, don't get wrapped up in those thoughts! They are toxic and won't attract anything good into your life. Instead #BeGrateful for all you have, where you've been, the lessons that have come out of storms, and the ones you love. When you focus on the good, it attracts more good.
 

Remember God created you to be YOU, not your neighbor or best friend. He has an AMAZING plan for all of us, and loves us more than we could ever imagine! Take a minute and thank him for that!
There is always ALWAYS something to #BeGrateful for!

 #Blessed #selflove #gratitude #BeYou #begreat #godlovesyou #bestisyettocome

Blended NOT broken.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how truly blessed I am to have three parents. Not only do I have three parents but I have three parents who have worked together my whole life to raise me.

Here's the best part; I don't EVER remember a time where one parent said something bad about the other or tried alienating me from the other. Now that I'm grown I truly understand what a blessing this was and still is. I know not many kids growing up in broken homes have both parents on the same team, putting their differences aside and doing what's in the best interest of the child. 

Whether or not my parents were battling behind my back I have no idea and I'm extremely grateful for that. I have enough rough childhood memories to look back on but this is one that I can look back on, smile and thank my parents. I know it couldn't have been easy. From the bottom of my heart I thank you three, thank you for leaving me out of it. Thank you for working together, thank you for all being a part of my life.

As far back as I can remember my family has just been one big family. It's not really dads family, Memas family, or Cemas Family. I'm not saying family get togethers are all three parts. But the events that are significant we all come together and celebrate it once, together as a family. First communion, confirmation, graduation, and kids party's. We celebebrate together as one family. We have blended three families into one. We are NOT broken, we are blended. 

A couple weeks ago I Was able to share the gift of Special Olympics with my parents and aunt. I felt so extremely blessed to be in my happy place and sharing it with my family. My heart was overflowing with happiness when they told me how much fun they had and would do it again. 

With Christmas coming up I've been starting to make our Christmas plans. We are so grateful my moms and brothers come to us so we don't have to travel. I'm so extremely excited for Christmas this year. On Christmas morning we will get to spend the magical morning with my dad, my moms, my aunt, brothers   And grandparents. This will be the first time ever we are all together on Christmas morning, and I seriously feel like a little kid on Christmas morning just thinking about it. I don't need presents, I will have the presence of my parents all together. 

Dad, Moms; I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul for loving me even when I was challenging, forgiving me, supporting me and standing by me. I want to thank you for being the best coparents you could ever be! I know it wasn't easy, I'm sure there were times you wanted to throw your hands up and give up. Thank you for never giving up on eachother and on me.  Please know your hard work and efforts have not gone unappreciated. Even as an adult your joint efforts are still extremely appreciated. I couldn't be more grateful for my three amazing parents! 

I love Special Olympics- Top 3 Reasons

It hasn't even been a year since I started volunteering with Special Olympics. It was November 2014 at a bowling tournament, I remember sitting in my car in the parking lot working up the courage to go inside. I said a prayer and headed in, I never would have thought I would fall head over heals in love with Special Olympics. Since then I have joined two committees, volunteered with track and field, volunteered at multiple events, working with some other coaches on a softball team for our area and now I am preparing to jump in the freezing cold water just to raise funds and awareness for Special Olympics.

Here are my top 3 reasons why I love Special Olympics (And why you should too!) 

3. I think are a lot of misconceptions about Special Olympics, some people think it's not legit competition and we just give everyone ribbons and medals. THIS IS NOT THE CASE!! The athletes practice and work hard for 8 weeks before competing in regional tournements! Competition is by the book, the same rules everyone else plays by, and if there are modifications they come from the Official rule committees in the particular sport. For example softball has a second home base to avoid collisions at home base. During training there is a lot of emphasis on playing by the rules and teaching our athletes the right way to play. 

"The mission of Special Olympics is to provide year-round sports training and athletic competition in a variety of Olympic-type sports for children and adults with intellectual disabilities, giving them continuing opportunities to develop physical fitness, demonstrate courage, experience joy and participate in a sharing of gifts, skills and friendship with their families, other Special Olympics athletes and the community."

2. I've met so many amazing people; staff, volunteers and athletes! There is something to be learned from each and everyone of them and I want to learn it all! The first coach I ever worked with I met during a regional bowling tournament, and then did track and field with her. I absolutely loved watching the way she interacted with the athletes, how she would correct them and help them improve, and how much the athletes love her. I told her I want to learn everything I can from you!! Since I am on two committees I have worked with a good chunk of staff members for Special Olympics and can see the passion and joy they get from their jobs. It's a great feeling to be surrounded by people who share the same interests and passions that you do! 

1. Special Olympics athletes are straight up amazing and inspirational! There is so much to be learned from them; patience, dedication, bravery, perseverance, good sportsmanship and having fun in a competitive sport! But most of all they prove there are no excuses, just solutions! One of my favorite parts of competitions is when the athletes recite the oath, "Let me win. But if I cannot win, let me be BRAVE in the attempt." The beautiful part is the athletes really do  play by the oath, I see so much support from opposing athletes; giving high fives and "Good try!" Or "You will get it next time!" I admire each and every athlete, no matter their story, where they come from and where they've been, they show up ready to win and have fun!! 

On the first day of bowling this season it was so awesome to see the athletes welcoming each other back, giving hugs, high fives and welcoming unfamiliar faces. The energy was amazing; so much excitement, joy, happiness and love filled the alley. I absolutely love all our athletes!! 

If this touched your heart at all please support my plunge which will help Special Olympics continue being able to provide year round training and competition at NO cost to the athletes! 

THANK YOU!! I'm extremely grateful for any and all support!! 

http://lgplunge2015.kintera.org/begrateful19

Life Test

Things have been pretty hectic in my life lately! Operation move my grandparents from South Carolina to New York in less than a month, right before Christmas, made December fly right by! I felt like my to do lists were never ending and wasn't exactly sure how I was going to pull it all together but I knew I would! I am very grateful to have such amazing friends and family who are willing to help me and my family, without them I wouldn't be able to accomplish nearly as much as I do.

I feel like the past month, starting around Thanksgiving has been a life test for me. Remember in school you would have chapter tests and then one big unit test? That's what I feel like, I have accidently and purposefully been in a lot of situations lately where I am being challenged and need to overcome it. I have been in a lot of situations lately that would normally just make me flip a lid, cry, get angry, anxious, overwhelmed, and depressed. It seemed like God was testing me to see what I really did learn the past year, and how strong I believe in what I say, if I would remember what I had learned in these times of need, or if I would slip back into old habits and ways of reacting to upsetting situations. By the grace of God I was able to see this starting at Thanksgiving, and I had a great mentally ready for it, I remember saying in my prayers, "I know your testing me God and I'm ready, I know there is nothing we can't get through together". That was such a liberating feeling, it took away so much anxiety, fear, and worries!

Our original plan for Thanksgiving was to travel to my moms house and be with them and my brothers and aunt, but due to a forecasted snow storm we stayed home. I blogged about it, but long story short, instead of being upset we couldn't go, I got my game face on and made my very first Thanksgiving dinner by myself! And it turned out to be our best Thanksgiving yet! Along with everything that goes along with moving people from one state to another, that to do list was a mile long, I was on the phone getting estimates for moving companies and truck rentals, making reservations for traveling, I mean it was just a lot to organize and try to accomplish in a short period of time, but WE MADE IT! Thank you GOD we made it with only minor hurtles, both worked out just fine! Instead of taking a rental car we took a cab and it cost a little extra but ultimately the driver was awesome, and we snuggled in the back seat and chatted. The moving company didn't do what I asked them to do, so my husband had to correct their mistakes before we could leave, but we were still able to get on the road within reasonable time! THANK YOU BABY! I don't care who you are a 16 hour drive is a long drive to do and well that was an INTERESTING ride! Moving on... getting them reestablished up here, right around the holidays has been a little tricky and stressful but we are getting through it with smiles on our faces! I still wouldn't have waited until after the holidays, having them at my house on Christmas morning and them getting to experience all the magic that was going on at our house that day was priceless! It made it all worth it!

After this past month I can't emphasize enough how powerful positive thinking and gratitude practices really are! Two of the biggest changes I made in my life, that have ultimately saved me from living a negative, depressed, angry life. It's so easy to get caught up in the things that aren't going right in your life, and forget about all the good things that are going right in your life. There is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS something to be grateful for and when you are able to find the silver living in every situation, you will be so much happier! I know my God has poured blessings all over me and my family, we have had our struggles, but we always make it through, and that is by the grace of God, and I am truly with all my heart and soul grateful for that. Sometimes it can be easy to say God is picking on us, or he's not answering our prayers, but Pastor Buddy reminded us that, "God is not picking on us, he is pruning us." I couldn't agree more! I don't want God to solve all my problems for me, but I want God to help give me the strength and courage to get through my problems with love, compassion and kindness.

Take control of those negative, life sucking thoughts and turn them around into grateful thoughts. I don't care how silly the thought maybe, or its relevance to the situation, but it will get your brain waves going on a positive wavelength! It's all in your head!

As Always Be Grateful.

"Grateful Gracie"

I just got back from reading to my daughters class, I wanted to share with them a story about gratitude and not just because its Thanksgiving time. The book is called "Grateful Gracie" and it's written by a friend of mine Jennifer Tissot, it's a story of little girl who teaches her brother about the amazing power of positive thoughts and gratitude.  Grateful Gracie- A Story About Gratitude

I wish I was I had this book growing up, I knew the idea of being thankful for what I had because there were other kids with less, but I didn't have a true grasp on gratitude and the power it holds. Luckly 26 years later I do know the power of gratitude and try to share it everywhere I go. I try really hard to sincerely say "Thank you" everywhere I go, keep my head up and smiling, and remember everyone is fighting battles that we don't know about. It's easy to be thankful around the holidays, but its so much more rewarding to be grateful all year long!

I now know the power that being grateful holds behind it, and I am so grateful I can share it with my kids.  I now know my life is full of blessings all around me. I used to place a lot of my happiness into materialistic things, having a nice house, car, clothes, vacations, spoiling my children with luxury gifts, and wanting to be able to buy what I wanted when I wanted it. THANK YOU GOD FOR HELPING ME OPEN MY EYES!

It was when I was at the very bottom of the deep, dark, black hole of my depression, I had nothing to hold on to anymore, so I grabbed onto gratitude, put my faith in it, and gave it a try. THANK YOU GOD FOR A SECOND CHANCE! I started doing gratitude rituals at night, in the morning, when I was upset, when I was driving, whenever a negative thought came to mind. It didn't take long before I realized I wasn't having many negative thoughts anymore, and everything I was thinking about was how blessed I am, and all the good things I do have around me and in my life. THANK YOU NATALY AND HAPPIER TEAM!

I'm not going to say I don't get any mean and negative thoughts, but I choose not to respond to them, I choose not to give them any attention, I choose not to listen to the self blame, self doubt, and self hate. Instead I encourage myself, love myself, and forgive myself. If I am not going to, why should anyone else? If I can't love myself and how freaking awesome I really am, how can anyone else?  I am worthy of love, forgiveness and respect! SO ARE YOU!

Due to all the self hate I had going on I let it affect my marriage, I made very poor choices, and wasn't thinking about all the blessings I do have, instead I was focusing on all I didn't. I was looking at the grass being greener on the other side. Because of my bad choices, it resulted in more bad things happening in my life. I thought 100% my marriage was over. My husband and I dug really deep, had the conversations nobody wants to have, and put it all out on the table. We knew what we needed to do, we knew what we wanted to do, we knew we were meant to be, and that we could get through this. We are a work in progress, and so far so good! I believe the hell and back we went through was to help us open our eyes to how amazing our lives really are, and the blessings that God has poured over us. He gave us a second chance, and he helped us stay strong to protect our children from what was going on, while we got our acts together. I am so grateful for that!

I love that you can feel the gratitude in my house now, my husband, my kids, and myself try really hard to keep it grateful!

Be Grateful.

I walk my own path...

I'm grateful I know I don't need to be somebody I'm not, and that I don't have to walk down the path my parents did, or my siblings. I believe everyone has their own path they are meant to walk, it may be similar to yours, or you may disagree with another's path but none the less it is their path and their choice. 

For awhile I used to be worried that my moms would be disappointed in me because I got married and had two kids instead of going straight from high school to college like my brothers did. But now I know they are proud of me for who I am and the amazing mom that I am. I remember when my mom found out I was pregnant she emailed me what I would consider "hate mail"  in which I interpreted basically telling me all the ways we weren't ready to be parents. It took few months for her to accept it but I was determined to prove them wrong. I knew I could be a good young mother, and yes we had our financial struggles but who doesn't. Luckly we had an amazing support system to help is through. By the time I was 7 months pregnant they were excited, threw me an amazing baby shower, and helped us get ready for our baby girl. I will say they are the best Mema and Cema my kids could have, all that turmoil is left in the past. 

I am grateful for my path and every one that has crossed it along my journey. I know some people were a blessin and others a lesson, but they are all still important in my journey. 

I am grateful I don't feel the need to compare my journey to anothers, or measure my failures and success next to another. 

I'm grateful I didn't go right to college and spend a bunch of money on an education I wasn't ready for. I'm grateful I trusted my gut and created my own path. 

I am grateful for my two amazing children, they encourage me to grow more and more everyday to make the world a better place for them. 

The best thing about walking your own path is your are in charge! You have a choice! If something isn't making you happy eliminate it! If you are lacking something add it into your busy schedule. You are in control of your destiny, you are the only one that can take charge of your life, and determine what is acceptable and what is not. You set the standards for how others treat you. 

It's so important to speak up for yourself, and I don't mean in a hostile way, but to simple say, "It upsets me when... Or it is not ok to speak to me like that." Speaking up and standing up for yourself are essential parts in loving yourself. If you embrace your self worth you will know that you deserve better. Change takes courage, but happiness is worth it!

I encourage you all to embrace your own unique journey and the path you walk on  and most of all Be Grateful. 

My kind of meditation...

When I used to think about meditating, quiet and calm came to mind, to help bring you balance and peace. That's all fine and dandy but I'm not a quiet person! Which is why my best friend and I have our own way of meditating. Back when we were both dark angry souls we would listen to hip hop, pop, and rap self pity music and scream it as loud as we could. But NOW thanks to my momma for introducing it to us, we rock out to Nimo Patels CD, "Grateful". It has ten uplifting songs that always touch my soul in one way shape or form. His lyrics are full of truth, kindness, and gratitude. I know sitting and reading, or listening to other people preach about happiness and positive thinking can be exhausting, and if that's the case this CD may be just the thing you need. Don't have the extra money to buy it?! That's OK! He's giving it away on his website for FREE!! Who doesn't love free?! Also on his website you can find his story/mission, truly an inspiring story. All the songs are family friendly too! My kids love the CD and I love hearing their precious little voices singing alone. They don't know it but I know it's empowering them at a young age. I wanted to share some of my favorite lyrics with y'all....

"You’re the blessings that exist

The small things that are bliss

The gift to realize that

Everything is a gift"

"Throw your hearts up

Let it fly high

Let your love for all the world

Spread through the skies

Let it drop down

Let it all go

Spreading kindness to every

Single living soul"

"So keep loving,

It’ll change your heart, it’ll change your mind

And then you’ll start to change your eyes

So keep loving

Everything you touch, everyone you see

Will soon become, your family"

These are just a few of my favorite lyrics! I've seen his music help others to start making the change towards positive thinking and gratitude. Give it a chance you have nothing to loose!! Be Grateful. 

http://www.emptyhandsmusic.com/music/