Blended NOT broken.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how truly blessed I am to have three parents. Not only do I have three parents but I have three parents who have worked together my whole life to raise me.

Here's the best part; I don't EVER remember a time where one parent said something bad about the other or tried alienating me from the other. Now that I'm grown I truly understand what a blessing this was and still is. I know not many kids growing up in broken homes have both parents on the same team, putting their differences aside and doing what's in the best interest of the child. 

Whether or not my parents were battling behind my back I have no idea and I'm extremely grateful for that. I have enough rough childhood memories to look back on but this is one that I can look back on, smile and thank my parents. I know it couldn't have been easy. From the bottom of my heart I thank you three, thank you for leaving me out of it. Thank you for working together, thank you for all being a part of my life.

As far back as I can remember my family has just been one big family. It's not really dads family, Memas family, or Cemas Family. I'm not saying family get togethers are all three parts. But the events that are significant we all come together and celebrate it once, together as a family. First communion, confirmation, graduation, and kids party's. We celebebrate together as one family. We have blended three families into one. We are NOT broken, we are blended. 

A couple weeks ago I Was able to share the gift of Special Olympics with my parents and aunt. I felt so extremely blessed to be in my happy place and sharing it with my family. My heart was overflowing with happiness when they told me how much fun they had and would do it again. 

With Christmas coming up I've been starting to make our Christmas plans. We are so grateful my moms and brothers come to us so we don't have to travel. I'm so extremely excited for Christmas this year. On Christmas morning we will get to spend the magical morning with my dad, my moms, my aunt, brothers   And grandparents. This will be the first time ever we are all together on Christmas morning, and I seriously feel like a little kid on Christmas morning just thinking about it. I don't need presents, I will have the presence of my parents all together. 

Dad, Moms; I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul for loving me even when I was challenging, forgiving me, supporting me and standing by me. I want to thank you for being the best coparents you could ever be! I know it wasn't easy, I'm sure there were times you wanted to throw your hands up and give up. Thank you for never giving up on eachother and on me.  Please know your hard work and efforts have not gone unappreciated. Even as an adult your joint efforts are still extremely appreciated. I couldn't be more grateful for my three amazing parents! 

I love Special Olympics- Top 3 Reasons

It hasn't even been a year since I started volunteering with Special Olympics. It was November 2014 at a bowling tournament, I remember sitting in my car in the parking lot working up the courage to go inside. I said a prayer and headed in, I never would have thought I would fall head over heals in love with Special Olympics. Since then I have joined two committees, volunteered with track and field, volunteered at multiple events, working with some other coaches on a softball team for our area and now I am preparing to jump in the freezing cold water just to raise funds and awareness for Special Olympics.

Here are my top 3 reasons why I love Special Olympics (And why you should too!) 

3. I think are a lot of misconceptions about Special Olympics, some people think it's not legit competition and we just give everyone ribbons and medals. THIS IS NOT THE CASE!! The athletes practice and work hard for 8 weeks before competing in regional tournements! Competition is by the book, the same rules everyone else plays by, and if there are modifications they come from the Official rule committees in the particular sport. For example softball has a second home base to avoid collisions at home base. During training there is a lot of emphasis on playing by the rules and teaching our athletes the right way to play. 

"The mission of Special Olympics is to provide year-round sports training and athletic competition in a variety of Olympic-type sports for children and adults with intellectual disabilities, giving them continuing opportunities to develop physical fitness, demonstrate courage, experience joy and participate in a sharing of gifts, skills and friendship with their families, other Special Olympics athletes and the community."

2. I've met so many amazing people; staff, volunteers and athletes! There is something to be learned from each and everyone of them and I want to learn it all! The first coach I ever worked with I met during a regional bowling tournament, and then did track and field with her. I absolutely loved watching the way she interacted with the athletes, how she would correct them and help them improve, and how much the athletes love her. I told her I want to learn everything I can from you!! Since I am on two committees I have worked with a good chunk of staff members for Special Olympics and can see the passion and joy they get from their jobs. It's a great feeling to be surrounded by people who share the same interests and passions that you do! 

1. Special Olympics athletes are straight up amazing and inspirational! There is so much to be learned from them; patience, dedication, bravery, perseverance, good sportsmanship and having fun in a competitive sport! But most of all they prove there are no excuses, just solutions! One of my favorite parts of competitions is when the athletes recite the oath, "Let me win. But if I cannot win, let me be BRAVE in the attempt." The beautiful part is the athletes really do  play by the oath, I see so much support from opposing athletes; giving high fives and "Good try!" Or "You will get it next time!" I admire each and every athlete, no matter their story, where they come from and where they've been, they show up ready to win and have fun!! 

On the first day of bowling this season it was so awesome to see the athletes welcoming each other back, giving hugs, high fives and welcoming unfamiliar faces. The energy was amazing; so much excitement, joy, happiness and love filled the alley. I absolutely love all our athletes!! 

If this touched your heart at all please support my plunge which will help Special Olympics continue being able to provide year round training and competition at NO cost to the athletes! 

THANK YOU!! I'm extremely grateful for any and all support!! 

http://lgplunge2015.kintera.org/begrateful19

I Support Family Equality

I wrote this for a research assignment a couple years ago, I removed most of the out-of-date information, as some laws have changed! YAY! 

Same-sex couples have been fighting the equality rights battle for many years; some people think their right shouldn’t even be questioned because a persons’ sexuality doesn’t take away from the fact that we are all human and should all have the same human rights. But then there are those people whose religious beliefs are against homosexuality; the people who think raising a child in a same sex household can be harmful to children even though there is no data proving that, on the contrary, there is data proving that children raised in same sex households are just as well off as a child raised in a home with a mother and father.

A persons’ sexuality should not define a persons’ capability of being a parent, or what kind of home they can provide to children. There are so many children growing in foster care, and orphanages because not a lot of states have granted these same-sex couples the same protection and rights heterosexual couples receive. 

            Brad Clarke an advocate for lesbian and gay families argues, “Adoption should be about creating loving, stable homes for kids. It should be about making sure children have a nurturing environment that allows them to thrive and succeed” (Clark). Mr. Vale a loving gay father, and his partner adopted two children and this is what he has to say about parenthood, “My aspiration for them is, the sky is the limit, they can do anything they want. They were my dream, and my dream came true. I want them to grow up knowing theirs can too” (Cox). Another great advocate, Kenneth Faried, plays for the Denver Nuggets, has two moms and is an advocate for civil unions and marriage equality in Colorado, one mother whose family was lucky enough to spend some time with Faried said, “He was extremely kind and generous with his time with us. He is a great role model for kids with two moms” (Rudolph).  In 2013 Colorado’s’ civil union bill will no longer include exemption for child-placement agencies that are state funded (Clark). Which this is good because now no other children in Colorado will have to go through what Jaacob and his dads went through; one night Jaacob was struggling to breath, his dads rushed him to an urgent care facility and were held up at check in because the nurse couldn’t figure out how to enter them into the computer, and refused to give them medical attention until they could produce the mother’s information, because the computer only had a spot for mom and dad, not parent 1 and 2 (Clark). That innocent child could have died because of a technological error, something has to be done about this.

I believe same-sex couples should be allowed to adopt and create families without any discrimination and should be granted the same rights as heterosexual couples. 

There are a couple common arguments against same-sex couples having rights to families that are recognized and protected, but they aren’t all accurate; there are no proven statistics that children raised in same-sex families will be gay, but if they are they are less likely to hide or repress their sexual orientation (Lesbian & Gay Adoption Rights). Studies also show that children growing up in same-sex families fare just as well emotionally and socially as children that don’t (Belge).  The American Pediatrics Association now supports gay and lesbian couples adopting, which is just one of many big groups that do support equality, but there are also the groups against equality such as, the Manhattan Declaration which was established in 2009 and consists of more than 100 catholic, orthodox and evangelical leaders who filed an amicus brief with the Supreme Court reinforcing the Defense of Marriage Acts (DOMA) definition of marriage as a man and woman (Mauck). A big fear with DOMA being redefined is that over time millions of children will be placed in living conditions not based on their best interest but rather the new family structure (Mauck).

The U.S. is finally catching up to times and in 2011 the U.S Passport applications were updated to include room for parent 1 and 2. Kansas Supreme Court realizes that same-sex families do exist and the law cannot turn its back on a child’s need for stability and a protected relationship with both parents, so the Supreme Court ruled to protect the inters of all children regardless of their parents sexual orientation (Rudolph).

There shouldn’t even be a fight for same-sex couples because of ignorance and lack of understanding, change is difficult for some people, but change needs to happen. If same-sex couples are granted the same civil rights as other Americans and allowed to legally have families, thousands and thousands of children would be given loving homes and families.  I believe the only people that should have a say about same-sex couples right are the gays, lesbians, transgender and bisexuals because they are the ones effected by the laws. Why should it matter to heterosexuals that LGBT’s have the same rights as straight families? I don’t remember ever seeing in the constitution, “this only applies to straight families”. Those people who think same-sex families are dangerous and not safe, should consider the children growing up in straight families who are raped, beaten, and neglected? Those abusive and unfit parents didn’t have to fight to be able to have kids, yet they were blessed with an amazing gift of children that they can’t take care of, or choose not to do their best to take care of. Same-sex families can’t accidently have a baby, and I believe would most likely be able to provide better families and households than some straight families because having a family is their dream come true. Wouldn’t it be horrible if someone told you your dream couldn’t come true because you’re straight? Don’t take away someone else’s dream because it’s not your own.

I Believe He Loves Us All

For those of you who don't know me, I am a follower of Christ, mother and wife, and daughter of a lesbian.

God has been laying a lot on my heart lately, and I want to share it. I know it's opening myself up for criticism, but I will not hide behind that fear anymore, I know God created me, likes me, loves me, and has a plan for me greater than I could ever imagine.

I grew up in the Catholic school with divorced parents and a gay mom, and yes I punished for that, I was made to feel like a complete outcast, and made to feel like my family wasn't legitimate. There were parents who didn't want their kids near my mom in fear she would turn them gay? Or the gay would rub off? 

Because of all the people who preached hate about my family, about my mom, I lost faith in God. I don't remember in the bible where Jesus says, "hate thy neighbor and make them feel illegitimate at all costs." I wondered why me? Why couldn't I have a normal family?

Now by no means did I have a perfect childhood and an amazing relationship with my mom. I placed a lot of anger and resentment on her, for being who she IS, who God created her to be. However my husband grew up and experienced an absent mother, she wasn't LGBT, she is straight and grew up in a religious family. My point being I didn't have a rough childhood because my mom is gay, there's so many children who grow up with straight parents and are verbally, mentally and physically abused. It was because while everyone was preaching their hate, no one was thinking about the effects it has on the children of LGBT families. No one was thinking about how hard it must be for a 7 year old to hear her family isn't really a family, or that my mother was going to hell. That's a terrifying thought for a child! 

I thank God for never giving up on me, even when I gave up on him. I have a stronger, deeper relationship with him now than I ever knew existed. 

Being gay is a choice. I disagree, I know and love enough LGBT individuals to know it is not a choice. Why would people choose to be something that's discriminated against? Why would people choose to be something they have to fight so hard to be? Ya know what is a choice? Loving and accepting our neighbors the way they are. Speaking with love, hope and compassion. 

I know this may be a hard concept for some people to understand, but remember God created ALL of us, he LOVES ALL of us, and God has bigger plans for ALL us than we could ever imagine. 

I believe in committed same-sex marriages and believe God loves my family just as much as the family next door. I also believe if a commited same-sex couple wants to start a family, and a adopt a child, who am I to stop them? 

Who are we as society to stop people from living the life God has blessed them with? I certainly don't want to be standing in front of my almighty father explaining why I didn't love ALL my neighbors. 

My prayer is that people will remember the children of LGBT families when preaching hate, and know how much your words really do hurt.  (Heck I'm 26 and somethings I read still sting, luckily I've come a really long way in not living in offense.) Please remember God calls us to love thy neighbor. It is not our place to judge one another, it is our place to share Gods love for all of us, his greatness, and his promises. He is able, faithful and will not forsake you.

I fully understand this will not sit well with everyone, and I'm not asking you all to become same-sex marriage advocates (more power to you if you do), but what I am asking is to remember the children who are stuck in the middle of this awful battle, and that all the mean, nasty, awful hate preached is extremely hurtful and scaring for children. I respect everyone is entitled to their own opinon, but please don't hurt others trying to get your opinon across.

Be Kind. Be Grateful. 

Kind Words Matter

It's amazing how such a simple concept can be so hard to comprehend. Words do hurt!! Yes sticks and stones do too, but words really do hurt. And once you've said them you can't truly take them back, you can apologize and pray they will forgive you, but it's not always easy to forgive and forget. I've forgiven plenty of people for hurtful words but I still remember they were said, as I'm sure all the hurtful things I have said my entire life have not been forgotten. I know God has forgiven me, as he hears my cries for forgiveness, and when we are truly sorry he forgives. 

It really breaks my heart to see the way people hide behind computer screens and say such hurtful things about people, the judgement, assumptions, and hate really is disgusting. I will admit ten years ago I was one of those people, and I am not proud to say that. 

"Hurt people, hurt people".  

I am grateful, blessed, and proud to say I am no longer a hurt person hurting others. Instead I find myself overflowing with love, compassion, gratitude, kindness, sympathy, and the desire to help everyone and anyone I can in any way I can. 

I learned I needed to take accountability for my life, for my actions, and my thoughts. I discovered how truly blessed I  am and to be grateful for those blessings instead of dwelling on what I wanted and didn't have. I wanted to look in the mirror and know what it felt like to love what I saw, instead of seeing all my imperfections. To anyone that feels this way I want you to know YOU CAN BE HAPPY & YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. 

To everyone everywhere please remember you words matter, they can hurt people or heal people, you can put down people or inspire people. Speak life, love, gratitude and kindness. "It's better to be kind than right."- my mom. 

Be Grateful & Be Kind 

No More Excuses

I've made the excuse lately I haven't had time to blog, which isn't a full blown lie, but it's something I love to do, and should be making time to do it! After all I can't take care of everyone and everything I do, if I don't take care of myself and my needs. Normally my me time consists of; driving to and from church, and going to church. Since we switched my son out of his crib into his VERY OWN big boy bed, all he wants is to sleep in ours, and now everyone's' sleep schedules are all out of WHACK! We try so hard to stick to our rules and not take the easy way out, but somehow he knows when we fall asleep and ends up in our bed EVERY NIGHT! One night I woke up and he was sleeping half way in our room and half way in the hallway! We are gonna stay strong and keep at this bed time thing!

It's really easy to make excuses not to do things, or go places, my husband and I used to be experts at this! Thankfully I enjoy going out, doing things, and seeing people again but for the longest time that wasn't the case. We would try and avoid it at all costs; all came back to the fear of the unknown, how situations would play out, being around people we didn't want to be around, and the fear of what other people were thinking...YUCK what an awful place to be and live in! I'm so grateful that is not where we are anymore! I'm not saying we are YES YES YES people and never turn down invitations, but our reasoning behind it is much different. I refuse to live in fear, I can go through scary things and know that it will be alright, because I have God on my side. I try not to live in offense of what others say, do or think about me, that's their problem NOT mine. I am not here to judge anyone, that is not my purpose. I can handle what ever situations arise, and I will handle them, instead of dealing with them later.

We make excuses on a daily basis and probably don't even realize it half the time, but when we our conscious of our thoughts and actions, it makes it easier to be aware of whats real, and whats the enemy trying to slow you down. This has been a game changer for me; knowing the difference between truth and the enemy, and choosing when to act and when not to. I felt like I was struggling in my Management class, and had a list of excuses as to why it was, only one I held myself accountable for was, "Just because this class isn't as easy for me as my other ones, and its a completely different layout then the rest of my classes, that doesn't mean I need to complain about it, it means I need to try harder in this class, and maybe be happier with a B instead of an A which is what my goal is. The next morning I was checking my grades, and was beyond blown away when I saw my average and that it was higher than any of my other classes. It was good reassurance that all my hard work and effort is paying off, and that even though it's not as easy as my other classes, I am still capable of doing well in this class. " 

My prayer for you all is that you don't let fear dictate your life, and that you no longer make excuses, instead solutions. May you step out of your comfort zone and try something new. May you always be grateful for all that you are and all that you have.

Life Test

Things have been pretty hectic in my life lately! Operation move my grandparents from South Carolina to New York in less than a month, right before Christmas, made December fly right by! I felt like my to do lists were never ending and wasn't exactly sure how I was going to pull it all together but I knew I would! I am very grateful to have such amazing friends and family who are willing to help me and my family, without them I wouldn't be able to accomplish nearly as much as I do.

I feel like the past month, starting around Thanksgiving has been a life test for me. Remember in school you would have chapter tests and then one big unit test? That's what I feel like, I have accidently and purposefully been in a lot of situations lately where I am being challenged and need to overcome it. I have been in a lot of situations lately that would normally just make me flip a lid, cry, get angry, anxious, overwhelmed, and depressed. It seemed like God was testing me to see what I really did learn the past year, and how strong I believe in what I say, if I would remember what I had learned in these times of need, or if I would slip back into old habits and ways of reacting to upsetting situations. By the grace of God I was able to see this starting at Thanksgiving, and I had a great mentally ready for it, I remember saying in my prayers, "I know your testing me God and I'm ready, I know there is nothing we can't get through together". That was such a liberating feeling, it took away so much anxiety, fear, and worries!

Our original plan for Thanksgiving was to travel to my moms house and be with them and my brothers and aunt, but due to a forecasted snow storm we stayed home. I blogged about it, but long story short, instead of being upset we couldn't go, I got my game face on and made my very first Thanksgiving dinner by myself! And it turned out to be our best Thanksgiving yet! Along with everything that goes along with moving people from one state to another, that to do list was a mile long, I was on the phone getting estimates for moving companies and truck rentals, making reservations for traveling, I mean it was just a lot to organize and try to accomplish in a short period of time, but WE MADE IT! Thank you GOD we made it with only minor hurtles, both worked out just fine! Instead of taking a rental car we took a cab and it cost a little extra but ultimately the driver was awesome, and we snuggled in the back seat and chatted. The moving company didn't do what I asked them to do, so my husband had to correct their mistakes before we could leave, but we were still able to get on the road within reasonable time! THANK YOU BABY! I don't care who you are a 16 hour drive is a long drive to do and well that was an INTERESTING ride! Moving on... getting them reestablished up here, right around the holidays has been a little tricky and stressful but we are getting through it with smiles on our faces! I still wouldn't have waited until after the holidays, having them at my house on Christmas morning and them getting to experience all the magic that was going on at our house that day was priceless! It made it all worth it!

After this past month I can't emphasize enough how powerful positive thinking and gratitude practices really are! Two of the biggest changes I made in my life, that have ultimately saved me from living a negative, depressed, angry life. It's so easy to get caught up in the things that aren't going right in your life, and forget about all the good things that are going right in your life. There is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS something to be grateful for and when you are able to find the silver living in every situation, you will be so much happier! I know my God has poured blessings all over me and my family, we have had our struggles, but we always make it through, and that is by the grace of God, and I am truly with all my heart and soul grateful for that. Sometimes it can be easy to say God is picking on us, or he's not answering our prayers, but Pastor Buddy reminded us that, "God is not picking on us, he is pruning us." I couldn't agree more! I don't want God to solve all my problems for me, but I want God to help give me the strength and courage to get through my problems with love, compassion and kindness.

Take control of those negative, life sucking thoughts and turn them around into grateful thoughts. I don't care how silly the thought maybe, or its relevance to the situation, but it will get your brain waves going on a positive wavelength! It's all in your head!

As Always Be Grateful.