I'm grateful for my sister in laws...

I truly am blessed to have amazing sister in laws. We are all beautiful and amazing in our ways, we are similar yet very different. 

My husband and I both come from blended families, we know it's not easy to mix two families together and say hey we are a family now. 

I've always noticed this divide in our families, both sides. My families gap has closed a lot over the recent years, and now I'm determined to mend the gap on the other side. 

My kids have 7 cousins they could be a whole heck of a lot closer too. I remember growing up my cousins were my best friends, yes we fought but we were always family and family is so important! 

With some help from my sisters we have two family get togethers in the works with  all of the kids and grand kids. I'm so excited! 

 I'm grateful for my sister in law who never left my side during the roughest year of my life. She gave me hope, inspiration and love. She's inspired me in ways she will never know, and I'm so proud of her for her own journey and accomplishments. We have very similar purposes, thought processes, and beliefs, yet we are still very different in our ways. 

I'm grateful for all of my family members, it's just today I'm extra greatful for my sisters! 

Be Grateful. 

Let it go...

I'll be a 100% honest, I frickin love Frozen! I would be lying if I said I didn't know every word to every song and every line in the movie! Yes it gets annoying when you watch and listen to it all the time, but the messages in the movie are inspiring. The power of love can heal anything! 

I will proudly say a few times by myself I have rocked out to Let It Go and sang it at the top of my lungs. It felt soooo good! 

Who would think those three words have so much power behind them? I sure didn't! 

When I learned to let go of everything I had no control over it truly eliminated a ginormous amount of my stress and anxiety. 

I let go of all the hurt and pain from my childhood. I embrace the good memories I do have, and love the family that we are today. 

I let go of the not so great choices I made  in the past. I don't regret them one bit, if I had not been threw it all, I wouldn't be as strong as I am today. 

I let go of all the should have, could haves, and would haves of life. I stopped dreaming about what my life could have been, and embraced gratitude in every aspect of my life, and realized how truly blessed I am. 

I let go of the stress of the future, whatever happens will happen, and I will embrace those challenges as they arise. 

I let go of all the negative self talk. I talk to myself with the same love, kindness and compassion I would expect others to speak to me in. 

I let go of others mistakes that have hurt me. No one is perfect and no one should be expected to be. I forgive myself and I forgive others. 

I let go of my own personal expectation to be able to do it all. I now ask for help and graciously accept it. 

I let go of others problems that I can't  control. I pray for them. 

By letting go off all these negative thoughts and actions, I have made room for more positive, grateful and happy thoughts. I encourage everyone to just let it go!! 

Be Grateful & Let It Go.

Thanks to whomever made this image💖

It's alright if you don't know...

One of the things I used to stress out about was the unknown. It didn't matter what it was, but I was constantly making up scenarios that weren't existing and worrying about them. All of the stressing caused my anxiety to go through the roof! I would get myself all worked up over going places and doing things. I was always worrying about what others were thinking at that very moment. 

I used to stress myself because I didn't know what I wanted to spend the rest of my life doing. I felt like there was something wrong with me because I didn't know, I just plain and simple didn't know. And that scared the life out of me! Literally made me crawl into a deep dark hole of depression that sucked the life right out of me. 

My moms helped me realize I needed to live in the present, in the now. The time to  overcome battles is when they are actually infront of you, not made up scenarios in your head, of all the negative what ifs that could happen. 

It wasn't easy, but after consciously shutting down those negative thoughts, and redirecting my train of thought, I have noticed a huge decrease in my stress and anxiety level. When something happens I deal with it! Life happens, it's about how you handle it. 

I truly believe everything happens for a reason, as hard as that may be to see. We learn so much from our expierences, good and bad, and that makes us who we are. 

Let's not stress about the future, the past, and the uncontrollable. Instead let's embrace the NOW, and make it the best it can be! 

It's valuable to remember that their is only one amazing you! You are the only one who has expierenced your journey. I think it's important we all encourage ourselves and others to imbrace our authentic selfs, and let your let shine bright for everyone to see. We all have something unique to share with the world, it's pure bliss when you figure out! 

Be Grateful. 

Think Before You Speak...

First I would like to give credit to whomever created this picture, I don't know who you are but thank you! 

Second I would like to thank my mom for teaching my this valuable tool! 

I am 100% guilty of never thinking before I spoke, or speaking out of anger and hurt. I'm sure it is a huge reason I don't have many friends from my past. I accept that and I'm moving forward. 

It seems like a simple idea, think before you speak, think before you act, when in reality it takes a tremendous amount of self control. 

By resisting to say the first thing that comes to your mind in a negative situation , you are being the bigger person. You are NOT adding fuel to the fire! 

I know when my husband and I were fighting non-stop I would say the first thing that came to my mind, not considering how it would make him feel or how I wouldn't be able to take it back. We both did, there was a lot of honesty behind it all but it was the way we were approaching each other with it. We would hit below the belt way to often. Finally after many of phone calls with my mom she helped me realize what was going on. From then on I didn't respond right away, I would hear what he had to say and then think about my response. Wasn't to long after he was doing the same thing. We were finally speaking with respect and honesty. 

When I was still on Facebook, I witnessed a lot on people hiding behind computer screens not having a care in the world how their criticism was hurting others. I would see struggling mothers asking for advice, and others just blasting her with h*te. This was a huge reason I jumped the Facebook ship, I didn't want to be part of a judgmental, negative community.

Couple weeks ago I was talking with one of my friends, she said they were goin to protest against planned parenthood. All I could come up with was "oh", couple moments of silence and then I said " have a great weekend" and walked inside my house. I didn't want to have a debate about abortion with one of my new friends. I didn't want our different beliefs to put a divide in our friendship. I chose to respect her decision as I would expect her to respect mine. As a woman and a mother, I don't want anyone telling me what I can and can't do with my body. By no means and I turning this into a abortion discussion but my point being had I not thought before I spoke, I would have gone off on an angry rant on my thoughts. 

I've also noticed my road rage has mellowed out a lot, I used to scream, curse, flip off other drivers. (Without my kids!!) I've noticed now I just let it go, keep singing my music and take my foot off the gas a little. Now I'm not saying my road rage is completely gone, but I've definitly got it under control. 

I'm not asking you to filter yourself, and not speak up for yourself! I encourage you all to be your true authentic self, but to do it will kindness, compassion, gratitude and love. Consider it your contribution to making the world a kinder,  happier place! 

Be Grateful. 

I walk my own path...

I'm grateful I know I don't need to be somebody I'm not, and that I don't have to walk down the path my parents did, or my siblings. I believe everyone has their own path they are meant to walk, it may be similar to yours, or you may disagree with another's path but none the less it is their path and their choice. 

For awhile I used to be worried that my moms would be disappointed in me because I got married and had two kids instead of going straight from high school to college like my brothers did. But now I know they are proud of me for who I am and the amazing mom that I am. I remember when my mom found out I was pregnant she emailed me what I would consider "hate mail"  in which I interpreted basically telling me all the ways we weren't ready to be parents. It took few months for her to accept it but I was determined to prove them wrong. I knew I could be a good young mother, and yes we had our financial struggles but who doesn't. Luckly we had an amazing support system to help is through. By the time I was 7 months pregnant they were excited, threw me an amazing baby shower, and helped us get ready for our baby girl. I will say they are the best Mema and Cema my kids could have, all that turmoil is left in the past. 

I am grateful for my path and every one that has crossed it along my journey. I know some people were a blessin and others a lesson, but they are all still important in my journey. 

I am grateful I don't feel the need to compare my journey to anothers, or measure my failures and success next to another. 

I'm grateful I didn't go right to college and spend a bunch of money on an education I wasn't ready for. I'm grateful I trusted my gut and created my own path. 

I am grateful for my two amazing children, they encourage me to grow more and more everyday to make the world a better place for them. 

The best thing about walking your own path is your are in charge! You have a choice! If something isn't making you happy eliminate it! If you are lacking something add it into your busy schedule. You are in control of your destiny, you are the only one that can take charge of your life, and determine what is acceptable and what is not. You set the standards for how others treat you. 

It's so important to speak up for yourself, and I don't mean in a hostile way, but to simple say, "It upsets me when... Or it is not ok to speak to me like that." Speaking up and standing up for yourself are essential parts in loving yourself. If you embrace your self worth you will know that you deserve better. Change takes courage, but happiness is worth it!

I encourage you all to embrace your own unique journey and the path you walk on  and most of all Be Grateful. 

I used to be a bully...

I won't lie, I remember being a bully in middle school, a lot of it was being a bad friend, but I know I said some awful things, and hurt people in the process. I can't exactly pin point why I was so mean and hateful, I'm sure it had to do with my self confidence, rejection issues, lack of love and support, and a lost soul. It seems ironic I hated being bullied yet I still did it, it still doesn't make sense to me. I will say I was not the meanest person in my school, and the girls I bullied were a circle of my friends. It was always three against two or four against one, we were all horrible to each other. 

By the time we got to high school we all went our seperate ways besides passing each other in the hall or having a class together. After that I kept my head down and started hanging out with people that in the process I ended up making lots of bad choices, trying lots of bad things, and not making school or my future a priority at all.

 When I graduated I bounced town and moved to Colorado as quickly as I could. I knew I would never be happy there and wanted to get as far away from everyone as I possibly could! Even though I loved Colorado and all the friends I made there, it wasn't long before I was on my way back home due to dark choices every where I turned. I then found myself back in NY with a ton of debt and still a lost soul. It was a couple months later I met my husband and our chapter began.

I thought by escaping I was getting away from the bully's, I had a chance to start over where no one knew me. It's heart breaking to see how many adults bully other adults, or can't have conversations with out criticizing the other. This is one of the main reasons I quit Facebook, the amount of hate disgusts me. I love the idea of Facebook but I refuse to involve myself in a place with so much judgment and negativity. I don't even use the word "hate" in my daily life, I will say I don't like instead, I'm pretty sure my daughter thinks it's a bad word because I ask her not to use it. 

Why can't we all just get along? Why do we have to be so divided? Why does it matter if we are black, white, purple, blue or green? Why can't we turn all this negative into positive? WE CAN!! And it starts with YOU! By loving yourself, loving others and spreading kindness and compassion where ever you go, you will inspire at least one other person to do the same. You don't need a wallet full of money to help others, a simple smile in passing, stopping for people to cross the road and wave, helping a stranger for no reason, or volunteering your time are all great acts of kindness, among a million and one other simple little things. 

I challenge you to one small act of kindess today, and everday, it will "fill your bucket and someone elses." Ooooo tomorrow's post!! 

Be Grateful. 

My true few...

Growing up I never had a lot of friends, and the ones I did have either hurt me or I hurt them, or they were friends with me for the wrong reason. From a young age I was trying to find that missing love from my childhood, trying to find someone to give me the love and affection I was lacking from my mother. When I was 15 I discovered a group of friends from the town next to us. I felt like they really loved me for me, and they helped bring me out of my depression. Two of them with brother and sister, and had a mom who welcomed me into their home and took care of me like her own. I felt like they didn't judge me for my past or for my family. I felt like they truly were my best friends. We were together all the time, I actually had a circle of friends. After graduation and moving away, we still stayed in touch, and to this day they are the two out of eight that I still talk to. The best part is I don't feel like our relationships are any different now that we are grown up, we will always be there for each other, wish each other nothing but the best, and communicate once a month or so. 

One of my best friends from about ten years ago, is still like my big sister. We may not talk and hang out all the time but I still look up to her, respect her, and have her back. As we grow older our priorities change, our day to day routines change, and that's ok! That's life, that's part of growing up. I know for me, being a happy wife and mother, taking care of myself and my family is my number one, my true few respect that as I respect their  personal growth and agendas as well. 

I know it may sound silly but my bestest friends are my husband and my wifey. I used to say my husband knows me better than anyone else and in some ways that may still be true, but ultimatly I know myself better than anyone else. None the less he's still my best friend, and amazing daddy. He's been with me through hell and back, and even when we were on complelty opposite pages and at our worst we still tried to be respectful of the other. We aren't perfect and we are ok with that! I couldn't imagine my life without him, and I am forever grateful for all he does for me, our kids, and our family. My wifey is and has been a valuable jewel to me and my family. She is the other mother to our children, a support system, and most of all the bestest of best! I could write a post of all the reasons I love her! And maye one day I will! I try and tell her but she will never know how grateful I truly am to be her wifey. I couldn't imagine going through the past 5 years without her. I know five years might not seem like a long time but it honestly feels like forever, it's like our souls had been friends before our physical beings were. 

I wouldn't be who I am today without the amazing love and support from my parents. Truth be told my mom and I haven't ever had the best relationship until about 4 years ago, thanks to her personal journey and growth we are now in an amazing place. The place I always dreamed of as a child, and I am beyond grateful for that! She has become my mentor in leading a happy and positive life, and encourages my growth and journeys. Both my moms and I now have a great relationship, and I honestly thought that would never happen. I'm grateful my moms, brothers and I are now a big happy family! Again, I never thought I would have that! Better late than never!! For those of you know already know me, I have always been and will always be a daddy's girl. I'm sure I used to be a spoiled brat, but I promise I've grown out of that! For as long as I can remember my daddy has always been my best friend, my rock, my biggest supporter, and no matter how bad I screwed up, he was always there for me! And I am forever grateful that he did everything he possibly could to make me feel loved, wanted and accepted. My daddy has and will always be my best friend. Im grateful he and my husband have a great relationship too. I'm also beyond grateful he has an amazing relationship "poppas babies"! 

I have many relationships with my family and in laws that I'm grateful for as well, in each of their own ways. I'm grateful for each and every person that comes into my life, they are either a blessin or lesson, either way they have all played a part in who I am today. I'm grateful I know I don't need a large quantity of best friends, and that it's about the quality of the ones I do have. I'll always be grateful for my Happier family, even though I've never met a single one of them in person, they are an amazing support system and fantastic group of friends. Remember it's not about what you don't have it's about what you do have! Be Grateful.