I used to be a bully...

I won't lie, I remember being a bully in middle school, a lot of it was being a bad friend, but I know I said some awful things, and hurt people in the process. I can't exactly pin point why I was so mean and hateful, I'm sure it had to do with my self confidence, rejection issues, lack of love and support, and a lost soul. It seems ironic I hated being bullied yet I still did it, it still doesn't make sense to me. I will say I was not the meanest person in my school, and the girls I bullied were a circle of my friends. It was always three against two or four against one, we were all horrible to each other. 

By the time we got to high school we all went our seperate ways besides passing each other in the hall or having a class together. After that I kept my head down and started hanging out with people that in the process I ended up making lots of bad choices, trying lots of bad things, and not making school or my future a priority at all.

 When I graduated I bounced town and moved to Colorado as quickly as I could. I knew I would never be happy there and wanted to get as far away from everyone as I possibly could! Even though I loved Colorado and all the friends I made there, it wasn't long before I was on my way back home due to dark choices every where I turned. I then found myself back in NY with a ton of debt and still a lost soul. It was a couple months later I met my husband and our chapter began.

I thought by escaping I was getting away from the bully's, I had a chance to start over where no one knew me. It's heart breaking to see how many adults bully other adults, or can't have conversations with out criticizing the other. This is one of the main reasons I quit Facebook, the amount of hate disgusts me. I love the idea of Facebook but I refuse to involve myself in a place with so much judgment and negativity. I don't even use the word "hate" in my daily life, I will say I don't like instead, I'm pretty sure my daughter thinks it's a bad word because I ask her not to use it. 

Why can't we all just get along? Why do we have to be so divided? Why does it matter if we are black, white, purple, blue or green? Why can't we turn all this negative into positive? WE CAN!! And it starts with YOU! By loving yourself, loving others and spreading kindness and compassion where ever you go, you will inspire at least one other person to do the same. You don't need a wallet full of money to help others, a simple smile in passing, stopping for people to cross the road and wave, helping a stranger for no reason, or volunteering your time are all great acts of kindness, among a million and one other simple little things. 

I challenge you to one small act of kindess today, and everday, it will "fill your bucket and someone elses." Ooooo tomorrow's post!! 

Be Grateful.